Dead Meat

According to the Internet Movie Database there are four movies entitled “Dead Meat.” The one I’m reviewing is the 2004 Irish zombie movie. That’s right, Irish. As far as I know this is the first and only zombie movie set in Ireland and apparently the first wholly Irish horror movie, it then seems a little odd that the leading lady is Spanish (the lovely Marian Araujo as Helena) but she does a good job, so who cares.

Marian Araujo plays Helena in Dead Meat.

It’s also the first time the zombie outbreak is caused by a mutated strain of mad cow disease. Yes, my friends that means exactly what you think it means… ZOMBIE COWS!!! True they are not RADIOACTIVE zombie cows like in the video game Destroy All Humans, but a non-radioactive zombie cow is still a zombie cow.

Helena and Martin (David Martin) are touring the Irish countryside listening to a radio news report of an outbreak of mad cow, when their car hits a guy in the middle of the road. They think they’ve killed him, but of course it turns out that he is both already dead and not dead. Martin is bitten and Helena is on her own, but soon teams up with Desmond the local grave digger (David Mullaert) who knows more than one way to use a shovel, a little girl, and a couple with a van.

The group tries to make its way to a nearby castle where authorities are supposed to evacuate uninfected residents. Along the way they encounter a zombie birthday party, a field of sleeping zombies, and a ZOMBIE COW!!! The ending seems to be trying for an irony that I’m not sure quite works, but getting to the ending is plenty of gory fun, so I’m letting it pass. Horror movies often play off of real life fears and concerns. I'm guessing from Dead Meat that the fear the food supply may be contaminated and that the government isn't doing anything about is prevelant in Ireland and the British isles.

You don’t need a huge budget to make a good zombie flick. Dead Meat has a very low budget and is a mighty fine zombie flick. Sure the makeup looks like crap, but it is shot well and acted well. Ok, there is this one guy who’s accent is so thick that you can’t understand him most of the time, but it’s ok. He’s probably not saying anything important anyway.

A variety of weapons are employed during the film including “The Club,” a vacuum cleaner, a shovel, high healed shoes, a screwdriver, some sort of Irish bat, and assorted twigs, sticks, and branches.

The only real negative aspect of the film is the closing credits music. It's got that 80s movie music stench about it and the lyrics are supernatural in tone while the movie is not.

Dead Meat gets 4 out of 5 crosses.

Director: Conor McMahon
Length: 80 minutes
MPAA Rating: R For strong pervasive violence/gore, and for language